Banana Suits Can Be Fun
by Anaca
Summary: Poor Matthew has to take over his brother's job to hand out flyers in a banana suit for some time. And then, a certain Frenchman sets his eyes on Matthew - and decides to seduce him with only a banana. AU, tell me if rating needs to go up.


Banana Suits Can Be Fun

Right now, Matthew Williams hated his twin brother more than anything else, even worse than waffles.

Because right now, he was standing out a restaurant, giving out flyers.

In a banana suit.

"Just think of it as helping a hero, Mattie!" Alfred had said a few hours ago. "As soon as I'm done with my date with Arthur, I'll come back, okay? We're twins, so the manager won't notice! See you in maybe two hours!" And with those words Alfred dashed out the restaurant, leaving Matthew with a rather dingy banana suit and some flyers.

Four hours had passed since then.

The poor Canadian couldn't even give out a single flier, because everyone who passed by didn't really see a teen in a banana suit. Or anyone in a banana suit, for that matter. Matthew sighed. Even in the stupid suit he wasn't noticed.

Matthew was still wallowing in self-pity when a teen his age walked past and stopped a few meters in front of him.

The Canadian waited for the teen to walk away, obviously puzzled by the fact that they thought they saw someone, but this person stared intensely at Matthew until he felt his face heat up in embarrassment.

The teen grinned and he turned around, swooshing his shoulder-length blonde hair as if making Matthew self-conscious was his goal. He walked away and Matthew sighed in both relief and disappointment.

But really! That person was kinda scary, just standing there like that, and _wait – he's coming back._

So the teen did, and stood in the same spot as before with a coy smirk on his face.

He held up a hand that held a banana in it, very similar to the costume the Canadian was in, and brought it up to his face. The mysterious teen scrunched an eye up, as if he was comparing the fruit to Matthew's own costume.

Then, he slowly started to peel it, never breaking eye contact with Matthew.

_What is he doing…? Wait…does this have to do with me in my banana suit?_

Once the banana was half-peeled, the teen (Matthew had come to call him 'Frenchie'. Intuition told him that was probably his nationality) winked and started to lick the banana, sliding his tongue up and down the fruit. The Canadian could do nothing but stand there and stare, strangely fascinated.

Frenchie continued to lick the banana, eyeing Matthew through half-lidded eyes. He took his tongue off the banana and then stuck the fruit in his mouth, sliding it in and out.

_He can't be doing what I think he's doing…! _Matthew felt something straining his pants. _Oh shit_ – he was getting aroused by a total stranger eating a banana. Thank God this suit was thick.

Frenchie slowly teased the fruit and then nibbled the banana away, piece by piece until he was only left with a small bit. He finished it off by sucking it into his mouth with a loud "pop"!

He grinned and strode up to petrified Matthew. He leaned in close, impossibly soft hair tickling the Canadian's face.

Matthew was sure his face was a brilliant red by now. "Um, sir –"

"My name is Francis, mon cherie, and I would like to take you out on a date. Of course, after you have cleaned yourself up," Francis chuckled when the Canadian spluttered, failing to protest. At least he knew Francis was French.

"Ah, so cute~" the Frenchman sighed. "I'd love to eat you up, just like I did to that banana back there!"

"Ah – um, sir –"

"Francis," he practically purred.

"Francis – I-I can't right now –"

"Well then, later, cherie. I'll just enjoy some food before then," Francis brushed his lips momentarily to Matthew's own, took a flyer, and walked into the restaurant.

The Canadian stood frozen for a few moments and then rushed inside, lips and cheeks burning. Maybe he _should_ go…it's not anyone would notice.

* * *

Just saying, I only know perverted licking through watching my friend eat a lollipop. She's been eating those lollies pervertedly for such a long time now; it's just habit for her to eat it that way. It's hilarious.

The things you see in your dreams…like this.

And did you know that the scientific term for writer's block is apparently 'graphospasm'? Apparently...


End file.
